Reverb10: Jumping back in

Picture by Horia Varlan

I don't know when to give up, obviously.

I set myself the challenge of responding to the Reverb10 prompts, all 31 of them. Some of them have been a challenge for me, for various reasons. I have had health challenges for some time, accordingly I haven't done as much or seen as much this year as I might have liked. I have seen very little of my friends, and not as much of my family as I would wish. I haven't travelled, beyond day trips and one long weekend. I haven't been able to work. On very many days I haven't left the house. It is hard to answer some of the prompts also because they are not the way I think: they seem a bit self absorbed, to be honest. This year I have been focussed on just getting through the days, slowly recovering and not letting my lack of health and energy depress me. In this context, some of the prompts seem irrelevant to me.

However, since I posted last time, opting out, Reverb10 has been nagging at me in the way an unfinished challenge does, so I am jumping back in with renewed determination to respond to every prompt, even if it's to explain why I can't.

So, a catch up on the prompts I have missed.

Day 18: Try

Kaileen Elise asked: What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did/didn't go for it?

What do I want to try next year? Everything! A creative writing course. Photography. Crochet (I am not letting the damn thing beat me!) Making bread. Married life (though I am practising at the moment: just no certificate to prove it until April). Working from home, if I could just come up with something to do. Lots of things. Whatever takes my fancy.

Was there something I wanted to try in 2010? 2010 was the year I took out to try to recover, that was what I wanted to do. It was a slow year, I didn't do a lot. It worked: I seem to be slowly recovering, and I hope this continues into 2011.

Day 19: Healing

Leonie Allan asked: What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?

Rest, rest, more rest. And long drives in the beautiful Essex and Kent countryside.

Day 20: Beyond Avoidance

Jake Nickell asked: What should you have done this year but didn't because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)

I probably should have done lots of things, but frankly I don't care for shoulds. I did what I did, and what I could do, and that is enough. Next year I hope I can do more.

Day 21: Future Self

Jenny Blake asked: Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead. (Bonus: Write a note to yourself ten years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)

I would tell my future self to stop worrying and enjoy each day for what it is.

To my ten-years-ago 32 year old self I would say take the Young Philosopher out of school now, don't wait until he is 11 before removing him from the school system to home educate him. It will all go wonderfully well and be one of the best things you ever did. I would also say there is someone out there for you, but you have to wait until 2008 to meet him. Not fair, but worth the wait.

Day 22: Travel

Tara Hunt asked: How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?

With the exception of a long weekend in Hay-on-Wye in April, I haven't been away this year, but I have done lots of travelling locally. Almost every weekend the DP and I go driving around in Essex, Kent and other surrounding areas. I never tire of the beautiful English countryside. Next year I hope to do more of the same. We are planning to visit France for our honeymoon, so I am looking forward to seeing the French countryside too. I am also planning to visit central London much more often than I currently do. Isn't that always the way when something is on your doorstep?

So that's me caught up ;-)

Reverbed Out

I have done my best with the Reverb10 prompts, but I am not really getting what I hoped from it. I am finding that my response to many of the prompts is to write about the same things. There are a finite number of key things that happened in my life in 2010 and I don't particularly want to write about them over and over.

So, unless one prompt particularly speaks to me, I'm out. Normal service will be resumed in the New Year, probably, unless inspiration strikes me before then.

Reverb10: Friendship and a Lesson Learned

Image by karindalziel

Reverb10 Day 16, prompt by Martha Milhalik:

Friendship: How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

A friend said to me this year that if you want to write, what you need to do is write. You don't need to wait until you have an expensive pencil.

I have wanted to write for a very long time, I spent years waiting to have this fantastic idea that I could then write about. I didn't realise I should just write, and then the ideas would come. I didn't need to wait for the right time, the right tools, the right idea. I should just write.

So I am.

Image by pinkstockphotos

Reverb10 Day 17, prompt by Tara Weaver

Lesson learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

Ooh, not sure about this one. Probably that I can do things, and that I will never find out if I can do them unless I take a deep breath and try.

And that me and crochet don't mix. Oil and water.

Does this look like a hat to you?

I mean really, does it? My friend sent me this TEA COSY and I sent this picture to the Dusty Professor and said 'look at the fab hat Gail sent me!' He replied 'That's nice. Funky'. He meant it.

I think this speaks volumes about his opinion of my fashion sense.

Edited 20/12 to add: My bad. I thought I had sent a photo on my phone to the DP. I hadn't; he only received a text. What he actually said was 'That's nice. Funky?'. So I am pleased to report that his opinion of my fashion sense may not be as bad as I thought it was!

Reverb10: Two in One

Playing catch-up here, so two-in-one today.

Reverb10 Day 14, prompt by Victoria Klein

Appreciate. What's the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?

In the past year I have come to appreciate many things.

• How clean my kitchen stays now that the Young Philosopher is away at University. Conversely, how nice it was when he lived at home and used to clean up the garden after the dog every day, instead of me having to do it.
• The joy of being able to burrow back under the covers for a while when the Dusty Professor leaves for work in the mornings.
• Being able to rest when I need to.
• The lovely Essex and Kent countryside, which I didn't see much of before the Dusty Professor moved in, as I don't drive. Now we often spend our weekends driving around in the pretty.
• How lovely it is to look forward to someone coming home to me every evening.

And Day 15, prompt by Patti Digh

Five minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most remember about 2010.

Okay....here goes.

• That I didn't have to work this year.
• Being on set to watch the Dusty Professor do some film work for Channel 4. Yes, dressed as an Anglo-Saxon monk.

• The Young Philosopher dyeing his hair several times- orange, green, blonde, blue.
• A lovely weekend just me and the DP in Hay on Wye. Bookshops and beautiful countryside. Wonderful.

• The DP asking me to marry him in the ruins of Skenfrith Castle, Wales.

• Planning our slightly eccentric wedding for April next year. Details in due course.
• Being a Saxon for the day at West Stow Anglo Saxon Village.

• Taking the YP to university for the first time, Getting used to him not being at home.
• Learning to make tablet weave, and to use a drop spindle.
• Taking part in Mondo Beyondo and Dream Lab.
• Failing dismally to cope with learning to crochet. I was the dunce in the class.
• The DP icing little cakes for our anniversary.

• Weekend visits from the YP. So nice to have him home, even if his hair is like a parrot's feathers.
• Rediscovering writing and discovering an interest in photography.

Reverb10: Action

Photograph by stevoarnold

Reverb10 Day 13, prompt by Scott Belsky:

When it comes to aspirations, it's not about ideas. It's about making ideas happen. What's your next step?

This year while I have not been working I have had time to think about what I would actually like to do, rather than what I have to do.

Writing. I have rediscovered a love for writing. I started this blog, and have a couple of writing projects on the go. Next step: I am considering taking a writing course.

Photography. I have always had a camera, but only ever the point and shoot kind, the same as I have at the moment. Recently I have found I really enjoy taking photographs. Next step: Learn how to use the camera properly, I never did read the instruction book! Read some photography books, take photos every day.

Creativity. There have always been crafts I would like to try, things I would like to make or do. Generally I haven't tried because I thought I couldn't. Next step: Just have a go! I have a list of creative ideas and things I would like to try, time to start working my way through it.

Home. One word. Minimalism. Next step: Get some.

Reverb10: Body Integration

Photo by InAweofGodsCreation

Reverb10 Day 12 Prompt by Patrick Reynolds

This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment when there wasn't mind or body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?

I would like to feel that my mind and body made a cohesive whole, but I know they don't. For a long time now I have been unwell, and it has taken all that time for my mind to accept the limitations of my body. I lose count of the times I have felt really energetic and got a lot done in one day and then wound up hardly able to do anything for the next three days.

2010 has been the year I learned to slow down and to pace myself. I do seem to be recovering a little, and the course of B12 injections I am on seem to be helping. Hopefully sometime in 2011 my body will be able to keep up with all the things my mind would like to be able to do.