unravelling: favourite things

Last week was the third week of the Unravelling e-course, and we have been thinking about and taking some photographs of our favourite things. One of the questions asked was, what would we save if there was a fire? This question really pulled me up short, or rather my answer did.There are lot of things I am fond of and that I couldn't really replace. In the photos above are my childhood books, our wedding rings and handfasting ribbons, and a garden bench which belonged to my Auntie. I have hundreds of photographs in a big storage box, but so rarely look at them I can't even recall what most of them are of. I've been planning since forever to sort them out and put them in albums.  I have ornaments I love, and notes and cards I have kept....but really, is any of it that important? 


Buddhism teaches non attachment. You can love a beautiful or precious item but when it breaks, or is lost, you can be philosophical about it. It came along, you had pleasure from it, its time is past, let it go. I think there is something to be said for that. When I thought about my possessions, the accumulation of objects I have acquired over the years, that fill this house,  I realised that none of it is that important to me. In the case of that hypothetical fire, if my son, husband and dog were safe, I really don't think it would occur to me to try to save anything else. So then that begs the question, why do I have a house full of stuff? 


Maybe we are so attached to things because they anchor us. Who would we be, without the photos and ornaments, the books and CDs, the accumulated stuff of a lifetime. Maybe we would be freer without it all, perhaps it would be easier to move on, try new things. It would certainly be easier to do the housework, and to find things, if there were a lot less of them. 


The exercise was valuable for me. I realised both how many lovely treasured items I possess, but equally that none of them is of great importance really.  I am reminded of this quote from Art Buchwald:

Image from stevey

I will say that you're my favourite one in town

My little boy was twenty in July. Somehow, I never imagined this time. I thought vaguely sometimes of  'when he is grown up' but mostly I just got on with the present. It wasn't always easy being a single parent, there was never much money, but being everything to someone, is in my mind, a very precious thing, and we were very close.  Life has become simpler as he has got older and also more complicated. As the mother of my grown up little boy, I watch while he lives his life and makes decisions I don't necessarily agree with. My advice isn't always welcome, I am learning to wait until it's asked for, and to step back and let him find his path. He has grown up into a bright, caring wonderful man - I still want to write boy, but he is twenty, so I will write man and try to convince my heart.

The other day I came across this song by My Brightest Diamond. The singer wrote it for her son and I think it's beautiful.

'If you grow up to be king, or clown or pauper, I will say you are my favourite one in town...'

unravelling: reflections

Those of you who get these posts by email have probably already had an incomplete version of this...apologies! I hit publish instead of save to draft yesterday.... blame the fact that it was two in the morning.

I read somewhere that you should think about how you want to feel in your life, then work out what things make you feel that way, and those should be the things you are doing, or working toward.

Interesting. I like to feel:

Comfortable
Peaceful
Joyful
Comfortable
Attractive
Content

So...do I feel those things most of the time? Uh...probably not. I'm not sure I want to! If I was comfortable all the time, it would be yoga pants and fluffy socks all the way, not the best look for all occasions. Peaceful - well, that's nice but but I wouldn't want to venture into zen territory really, certainly not permanently. Joy, what a wonderful feeling, but every day? And much as I look to look nice, it would just be too much effort to keep it up all the time. Back to the yoga pants and fluffy socks, at least in the house. Contentment, though, now that's something I would like to have all the time.

So many people seem to me to be putting off contentment to some elusive future place and time. When they retire, when they lose weight, when they can buy that bigger house, or get a better job.  Of course I am not content with having CFS, or the fact that I can't do so much that I would like to, but I do get a lot of contentment from other things. For me right now, it would be milk in the fridge and bread in the bread bin, as we have run out of both, there's nothing for lunch and I don't feel well enough to go to the shop! But seriously, a cup of tea and the crossword, a drive in the country, an evening spent with family or friends, a nap on the sofa, and yes, wearing my yoga pants and fluffy slippers - these things spell contentment to me just as much as the bigger things.

unravelling: finding my feet

This week as part of the Unravelling course I have been thinking about my feet.  Not something I do very often, though I do  treat my feet to a home pedicure quite regularly, finishing off with nail polish. I always like to have my nails polished, even in the winter it gives me a lift to have pretty feet, despite the fact that they are usually hidden in socks and boots.  I also use cream on my feet, my current favourite being Mango Body Butter from the Body Shop, and slather it on before bed, or in the mornings if I am going to be wearing socks that day.

Generally, though, I don't give much thought to my feet.  I certainly don't look down very often as I am out and about., so this week I have noticed things I wouldn't normally.  Like the flagstone in the picture which has a quote on it from the library at Thebes, in Ancient Egypt, 'The medicine chest of the soul'. Isn't that lovely? Funny, too that often you don't notice something in real life and it becomes obvious when you look at a photograph. My doorstep (in the bottom pic) has now been painted, thanks to the picture. I  have sorted out my sock drawer, and I have also thrown out all my shoes that were uncomfortable or past their best.

This is all tying in quite well with my ongoing Simplifying project (more on that to follow quite soon...)

Find out more about Susannah Conways's Unravelling e-course.

Don't just sit there

Were you once a girl? I was, and chances are you were too. If not, then you are the son of someone who was once a girl. Girls matter, and you know what? They can change the world, and we can help them do it. One girl at a time.  It's called the Girl Effect.




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Just don't do nothing.

Autumn Parade of Adventures

Despite the news that apparently that we are expecting a heatwave hotter than Hawaii this week, it feels like Autumn to me at the moment. The Virginia creeper that covers the fence in the back garden is starting to turn red. I love Virginia creeper and was so pleased to see it when we moved here, but it turned out a let down as invariably the wind takes most the leaves before they turn truly red. 


I am always reminded at this time how close Christmas is, and how much there is to do. I am determined this year to actually enjoy December and the lead up to the festive season, as usually, in recent years with my bouts of anaemia and then CFS, I spend December stressed, overwhelmed and feeling ill. Last year it was well into February before I recovered. This year I am hoping to cut down on work, and plan ahead, and possibly even enjoy December, and then not be ill for weeks after Christmas, wouldn't that be nice. 


It's a long time since I did a Parade of Adventures post. The idea initially came from the Flylady whose idea it was to call her daily 'to do list' by that name. I like the idea - I would much rather write a Parade of Adventures than a to do list, wouldn't you? 


So, here is my Autumn parade of adventures for this year

• Knit a scarf
• Buy a good quality winter coat. The inexpensive one I bought last year resembled a dog blanket after half a dozen wears (thank you, Sainsbury)
• Go to the firework display on 5th November
• Buy some sparklers!
• Tidy and clean the house ready for Christmas tree and decorations 
• Make a start on the Christmas shopping
• Put the garden to bed for the winter 
• Declutter and organise the shed before it's too cold
• Buy myself flowers
• Eat soup, cinnamon toast and a toffee apple. Probably not together.
• Bake apples
• Plant bulbs and sweet peas for the Spring

What's on your Parade of Adventures this Autumn?

An Invitation

I am posting these photographs in response to an invitation from Joanna at the Art of Everyday Wonder. Joanna  is inviting others to join in by posting photographs on a theme on their blogs, flickr or facebook. What a lovely idea and a good reason to pay attention to the world. The first theme, aptly, is Invitation. These are photographs I took last week on a boat trip in Canterbury.

Invitation to follow the river

Invitation to open the gate and climb the steps

Invitation to stay right there and enjoy the view and the reflections

Two invitations: climb the ladder, or sail away?