unravelling: reflections

Those of you who get these posts by email have probably already had an incomplete version of this...apologies! I hit publish instead of save to draft yesterday.... blame the fact that it was two in the morning.

I read somewhere that you should think about how you want to feel in your life, then work out what things make you feel that way, and those should be the things you are doing, or working toward.

Interesting. I like to feel:

Comfortable
Peaceful
Joyful
Comfortable
Attractive
Content

So...do I feel those things most of the time? Uh...probably not. I'm not sure I want to! If I was comfortable all the time, it would be yoga pants and fluffy socks all the way, not the best look for all occasions. Peaceful - well, that's nice but but I wouldn't want to venture into zen territory really, certainly not permanently. Joy, what a wonderful feeling, but every day? And much as I look to look nice, it would just be too much effort to keep it up all the time. Back to the yoga pants and fluffy socks, at least in the house. Contentment, though, now that's something I would like to have all the time.

So many people seem to me to be putting off contentment to some elusive future place and time. When they retire, when they lose weight, when they can buy that bigger house, or get a better job.  Of course I am not content with having CFS, or the fact that I can't do so much that I would like to, but I do get a lot of contentment from other things. For me right now, it would be milk in the fridge and bread in the bread bin, as we have run out of both, there's nothing for lunch and I don't feel well enough to go to the shop! But seriously, a cup of tea and the crossword, a drive in the country, an evening spent with family or friends, a nap on the sofa, and yes, wearing my yoga pants and fluffy slippers - these things spell contentment to me just as much as the bigger things.