"My way of doing things is simple. It's not necessary to make impossible efforts when troubled. Put simply, when you are vexed just be vexed and say, 'Yes, and what shall I do?' Just be in suspense about the outcome and move forward a little at a time."
There is so much to do in the house and garden, I find the whole thing overwhelming. I have lived here for, um, let's think, getting on for nine years, yes that's right, we moved here a couple of days after the young Philosopher's twelfth birthday. That seems such a long time ago, though on the other hand I can't believe I have lived here this long and so many of the things that needed doing then still need doing now. I had very little money back then, as a home educating single parent priorities were roof over heads, food, and education. Most of the time there wasn't much left after those things were taken care of. We wuz poor but we wuz 'appy. I threw some paint around a couple of times and that was about it. In 2008 I met my dear Prof, and he came to live here the following year, though in the meantime he had been made redundant so again, love was all around but the money wasn't. He found work in February 2010 but the next things on the agenda were getting engaged and then married, so finances were channelled towards that. A year after the wedding, it's time we really started getting around to making this house into the home we would like to be, but oh, there is so much to be done!
Every room needs redecorating, and I expect that when we pull the paper off the eighty-odd year old walls and ceilngs, (where it isn't hanging off already, that is) much of it will need plastering. The bathroom needs, well a complete new bathroom. The front garden needs a complete overhaul and I don't know where to start, probably with the 80 year old privet hedges that need ripping out. I can't decide whether to do something nice with the garden, or whether to apply to the council for off-street parking, as several nasty things have happened to our car while it has been parked in the street. The back garden needs a new fence, one panel is threatening to fall over altogether, and several others look very sorry for themselves. We need a new gas fire, new carpets - in particular, we still have the carpet from the previous occupant in our living room and on the stairs and it's horrible. We need a new sofa. We don't have enough cupboard space in the (tiny) kitchen, the Prof is going to build some. Same with the bedroom, he intends to build fitted cupboards in there too. The living room is a logistical nightmare. Like the kitchen, it is tiny and has three doors leading off it, furniture placement is really difficult. We also have a LOT of stuff, including five bookcases of books. Major decluttering is in order, though probably not many of the books will go! It's hard to get all this stuff done, the Prof is often exhausted when he gets home, and is studying for his MA in his spare time and then there is my CFS. When we have time at the weekend we just like to get in the car and drive away from it all.
I said yesterday that I only ever seem to have head space and breathing room when I get away to the country, be it for a holiday or one of our weekend country drives. That needs to change, I want to feel comfortable and able to breathe here, in our home. I don't want to feel overwhelmed all the time anymore, like the things-to-do are pressing on me from all sides. So. One thing at a time. Decluttering and reorganising, then. I'll start with the living room, do a little every day that I can, depending on other events and my health, and just keep on keeping on, and eventually I'll get there, right?